Friday, August 1, 2008

Jael is a tough one...

Jael is a tough one....


I am still trying to figure out how I am going to raise a child, and I already have FOUR of them. I am not sure when you really learn.

Jael is my first, and I often feel badly that I am so tough on her. BUT she is so like me.....

While Josh was getting ready for work yesterday morning, as he was leaving the house, she said, "Dad, reading books is good, but we should really get back to doing our family devotions. We haven't done them since I turned six!" I am so proud that she has discipline. I actually love how she reminds me to stay on track, because she is so young and takes things very seriously.

In her class, (during woman's Bible study) the teacher told them not to climb backwards up the slide. I asked her if she had done it, and was that WHY the teacher was stating the rule. "No, Mom, they have lots of rules, and I don't break any of them; I am practicing self-control!" Well, o.k. then!! If only we all had the same determination.

I am working on my patience every day, as this summer I am teaching Jael to read. She is SO smart, that teaching her can be difficult. She always wants to understand exactly why things ARE THE WAY THEY ARE. English is not like that; it's not always the same. She wants it to be. With that, she is very good at math. She is a perfectionist, and she often ends up in tears when things do not come easily for her. Once again, this is me! I remember getting so frustrated that I would cry when I would get my papers back from school, and they would have marks all over them. I had "failed!" How do I deal with making sure my child doesn't feel the same things I used to feel? It's not that anyone MADE me feel that way; it was just me! I wanted everything I did to be RIGHT.

I need to work on so much......I wonder if I can do it!

Why did God give me a daughter who is so like me? I am faced with myself! He is so wonderful, but I do question in my head.....is it fair? It's hard enough to deal with ME, now I have the job of raising children!! Are we ever ready? I don't think we are......

I am sure that when my children are all grown, and I have "finished"........I will still be wondering if I could do it.

one day at a time......