Monday, September 8, 2008

'til death do us part

My Rant:

No one ever imagines that marriage could bring about burdens that you never expected to encounter. So many books abound for those whose marriages are crumbling or have ended. But what about those marriages committed "til death do us part" and yet are going through a period of time when one spouse is carrying the burden? What happens to a woman when marriage gets heavy and she gets weary? What happens to the man who feels that his wife has now shut down? Often, when a woman ends up carrying the weight of the marriage (due to her husband's health, choices, workload, etc.), her tendency is to "get out or check out." She may consider her husband's distraction an opportunity to do her own thing. But is there a better way to walk through this season? Even thrive?

What happens when you go to counseling and you are told you're crazy? Who can help you discern how anxiety and anger will slow you down; and how loneliness and disappointment can actually refine and bless you? Who is there to challenge and inspire as you wrap your arms around this time and remember that God has His arms around you?

Is this a lonely road? I wonder if the reason marriages are falling apart at an alarming rate is because no one is there to tell them it CAN be done. The road might be long and hard, but God says the FAITHFUL will be rewarded. It CAN be done!

So many people have forgotten that God HATES divorce. This is not a matter of adultry, bad health, work choices, gorwing apart etc. All of these things are VERY damaging, but do they allow a person to break covenant?

It is distressing that the divorce rate among professing Christians is nearly as high as that of the unbelieving world. The Bible makes it abundantly clear that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and that reconciliation and forgiveness should be the marks of a believer's life (Luke 11:4; Ephesians 4:32). However, God recognizes that divorces will occur, even among His children. A divorced and/or remarried believer should not feel any less loved by God.
Many people have been counseled with the exception clause of Matthew 19:9. God often uses even the sinful disobedience of Christians to accomplish great good. My mom has been a wonderful example of a woman who has divorced, but she still acknowledges that it was a sin. I don't mean to sound harsh.
I speak out of a broken heart, not out of a judgemental one. I have been faced with many obstacles in my marriage. What do you do when the decision is not yours? Are you still married even if you have been legally divorced, against your will?
I am not saying that God has no mercy, but I believe that we MISS the part in Matthew 19. I did it on purpose to show you what most people do when reading that verse!! What happened to verse 7-8? The people asked Jesus WHY Moses allowed divorce; Jesus replied with, "Moses because of the hardeness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but FROM THE BEGINNING IT WAS NOT SO." It was not His original plan; it was our bitterness. I can see how easily that can creep in--believe me!

What happened to "let no man put asunder"? I honestly ask myself these questions when I get discouraged or frustrated. Maybe there is very little help out there for how to go through things alone, but if we are focused on God and who He wants us to be then we have a clear cut path. As we seek after God and who He wants us to become then we see more clearly that our hearts must stay soft. If our heart stay soft then bitterness has no place. God's original plan can work!!

This is a road I am traveling, and I pray that you find encouragement in every battle you face. God is there, and He wants only the best for you!

Thanks for reading my rant!!

Feel free to add any and all comments--I love to see how people react. Please do not be offended--as I grow I realize how hard things can be to "swallow!" I have a hard time, too!