Sunday, February 14, 2010

Story of Hope and Restoration--Part 13

I realize this is getting long. It's still gonna be a while, too! 

During this season of my life, I hesitated to share so many things because those around me needed to stay encouraged. I needed them to stay upbeat.  Dad would get so angry when I would mention a hateful thing that was said.  Josh will tell you that his goal was for me to hate him so that when he filed for divorce I would freely give it to him. 

BUT I had made a decision to respect him all the days of his life.  He didn't need to earn it; I was doing it unto the Lord. Josh said many times he didn't feel the love of God, well, he was going to feel it through me. I would love him to the best of my ability the way God loved him. 

Josh would tell me that he never wanted to marry me that he was made to marry me. I was just a rebound off of a bad relationship. I had to constantly remind myself that Satan was using Josh as his mouthpiece. I wanted to throw away all of the letters from our past.  Weren't they all lies anyway?

Our town is small, so I knew we might run into him someday. We did! While at the gas station he was just so friendly, ready to tell me about his plans for the evening.  Sometimes it still makes no sense how thrilled he was to tell me about his escapades. He knew I was the one who liked to constantly go places.  I just grinned and dealt with it. 

This was my prayer:

In Jesus' name I pull down and destroy every stronghold, imagination, argument, and high things that reaises itself against the knowledge of God's word in Josh's heart.  I pull down the strongholds of pride, arrogance, sexual addiction. I take Josh's thought captive to the obedience of Jesus Christ and bind his heart to God's word of truth. When he walks about, it will guide him. When he sleeps it will watch over him, and when Josh awakens it will talk to him.  

Time was running out....Jael was worried Daddy was going to keep running from God. The baby was almost going to be here.