Monday, February 1, 2010

Story of Hope and Restoration--Part 1

Driving out of the deli parking lot was a huge rush of emotions, so I pulled over and texted Josh.  I asked him what he was doing there; who he was meeting and that he needed to tell me immediately.  He just said, "We'll talk about it later!"  

My trip home seemed like it took forever. I got the kids inside and I put them all down for a nap.  Being 7 months pregnant did not making my racing heart slow down. As soon as they were all settled I called Josh's mom to ask her if she could come to my house.  I couldn't bring myself to call my mom, as I didn't want to tarnish Josh's reputation so quickly.  Wanting to protect him was my whole life.

Mom showed up about 10 minutes later to find me practically hyperventilating and then the tears flowed as I explained what had happened over the last 9 months.  She was, to say the least, STUNNED, SHOCKED, MORTIFIED, and in disbelief.  She called Josh to tell him he needed to come home. He said, "No!"  He would come home when he was done with work.  Mom stayed with me until the kids got up and then she took them to her house to play, so they wouldn't be around when Josh did make his appearance.

Josh arrived, finally, but AFTER he did a few errands.  He arrived cold-hearted and mean--a completely different person. He had truely given Satan permission to use his life in which ever way he chose. He immediately became Satan's mouthpiece.  I explained to Josh that he needed to give up the woman, immediately, in order for our marriage to survive. (although, I didn't know how it was going to anyway)

Josh refused. He wasn't going to give her up. Mom just sat in disbelief.  Dad arrived when he got off work to confront Josh.  I am not sure Josh had ever defied the wishes of his Dad.  He always did whatever he was told.  Dad said it had to be over, and Josh said, "NO!"

I remember, so clearly, Dad turning to me and saying I needed to go to the court house the next day and start filing for separation.  Josh was so cold-hearted.  He didn't care, at all!  So, we left him there, sitting on the couch.

Three children and in only three months I would be having another baby...........what was I going to do?