Saturday, February 6, 2010

Story of Hope and Restoration--Part 5

Days would go by, and I would be so distraught. I would spend hours going over the same questions.  Figuring out HOW this was going to work out exhausted me.  Being almost 8 months pregnant did NOT help.  God's grace was over me every bit of the way.  Every pregnany before this one, I suffered from high blood pressure.  I would swell and my numbers would be horrible.  NOT ONCE did I have a problem!! I was thrilled!!!

Sometimes I wanted to go beat the crap (sorry) out of the other woman. I wanted to voice my opinion.  But seriously, 8 months pregnant?  Another thing, how was I going to maintain MY dignity and beat someone up?  Believe me! I remember sitting outside a local bar with my friend, both of us pregnant contemplating HOW we could look COOL going into a bar and telling them off?  We never did figure it out! God kept me calm SO many times, but it didn't mean I never had thoughts cross my mind.

I would cry out, "Lord, take my unbelief;" "Help me!"  (Mark 9:24)

I needed God to help me stand for what was right; I did NOTHING in my own strength. 

I Corinthians 7:10 was my scripture.  Let not the wife depart from her husband: but and if she depart let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband.  What option did I have? 

I Corinthians 7:39  The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead she is at liberty to marry to whom she will, only in the Lord. 

To say that I never wished to remarry would have been a lie. I would often wonder WHAT was I going to do with four children and no husband?

Always, in my times of despair, the Lord would give me a scripture. 

Jeremiah 31: 16, 17  Thus saith the Lord, Refrain thy voice from weeping, and thine eyes from tears: for thy work shall be rewarded, saith the Lord; and they shall come again from the land of the enemy.  And their is hope in thine end, saith the Lord, that this children shall come again to their own border. 

Many times I needed to call Josh's dad and encourage him with things like this. I would go to his work, and he would just have tears streaming down his face. If Dad saw me...he cried!  It was a tough time, for all of us!!

BUT GOD was still teaching me so many things........through this time Josh was still going in and out. BUT this all sets the foundation for HOW I could do what I did. 

It took God and His revelation power!