As much as some days I would have liked to give up; how could I? The kids needed their daddy. I had not done any harm; I kept Josh's name in tact, as best I could. If I gave up praying for Josh to return I would have chosen to hurt them. I had to keep standing.
Jael continued over time to understand what was going on...why was Daddy forgetting the important things? How did I answer those questions? I didn't want to bad mouth Josh. She would ask him questions when he would call like, if he remembered Halloween was bad, if he reads his Bible. She would seem to understand and then it would be brushed aside. I was glad for those moments where it wasn't weighing on her.
God encouraged me with his Word or revelation. I was showering one day and I heard God tell me that Josh WOULD bow down. It was September 23, I had no idea how long it would still be before this was all over. THAT morning Josh was in church. Church? What on earth? Why? He went to lunch with us, why? I could not be angry that he was in church, but it still made no sense.
3 years ago
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