Friday, March 5, 2010

Another Intermission

As I have read over so many of these posts I have noticed so many little things that I left out. Oh, some things just break my heart.  Others....well, I know they are worth mentioning. 

I can't imagine where I would have been without the love and support of so many of my friends and family.  Although we didn't always see eye to eye on things, I knew that they would support ME. 

Some people were angry, some just hurt, some furious, some quiet. The range of emotions from everyone described my daily range of feelings. 

Grandma and Janice (Josh's aunt) would give me some cash after church on Sunday to go out to eat. They did that a few times, just to help out. 

Sarah, you took the whole first weekend to sit and listen to me cry. I remember telling you, "YOU TOLD ME HE WAS STUPID!"  You replied, "Yeah, but not THIS stupid!"  Sarah, you, hurt so badly, and I tried to shield you from some things, really, I did!   BUT it wasn't always easy.  I know you are reading this, and I love you......thank you for your support with loving the kids.  You often took their mind off of the present circumstances.  Thanks for helping me think of names for Levi....and getting the ball rolling on WHY that was a good name to pick.  BUT most of all, I know underneath all of the hurt and anger was a prayer warrior, who I have NO doubt helped bring her brother home. were a rock!
Gana...thanks for protecting me in your prayers and suggestions.

Daja, you bore your brother's shame.  What more could I ask for?  I know you prayed and cryed out, and the forgiveness just flowed from you.  Many times you encouraged me not to take the blame for everything. Thank you!

Mom (in love), you listened to me cry SO many times.....I am sure we lost count.  I knew I could share things with you that I couldn't tell my mom.  He was your son, so I knew you would ALWAYS love him.  Thanks for listening and crying out on behalf of our family.

Dad (in love), thanks for taking care of your little girl. AND crying with me!!  I will always think of you when I see 2:10 to Yuma.  I always knew you had my back; I just needed to say the word. I know you prayed; thank you!

Mom (Newhope4Josh), you accepted Josh even when he was not easy to accept. He broke promises to you, that I know were hard. I know you had to live through some painful memories of your own, watching Josh act the way he did.  Thank you for supporting me, even when I knew that sometimes it was JUST FOR ME!!  In the end, you only grew stronger....and I watched the fight for my marriage take HOLD in you!!

Dad, I can't explain how hard it was to share with you what I was going through, as it brought up pain from the past.  BUT you helped keep so many things in perspective, and you reminded me that a MAN OF GOD (such as Josh) would NOT EVER feel at peace unless he gave into God.  Thank you!

Cara, thank you for your friendship. I feel we became friends through this time. Love ya.....thanks for keeping up with my story and always checking to see if I am doing well! 

Okay, so.....that was the basic immediate family.  BUT for all of you who have played a part in our story. THANK YOU.  When I write, I never mean to make light of how much it meant to me.  So many of you did SO much.   I could take a LONG time here and write out EACH person.....because I do know who you are.


erc said...

Goodness!! Cried over this one more than ANY OTHER!