Saturday, March 13, 2010

Story of Hope and Restoration--Part 44

Lord, you give me strength and courage to continue in my calling. In 2 Kings, the Shunamite woman wanted a child so deeply, when he died she still declared, "It is well!"  Even in the death of her son, if she could do this then when faced with a dead marriage I can declare, "It is well!"  He was brought back to life again because of the attitude of her heart.  She spoke life into her dead situation. I wanted LIFE in my dead marriage.  

Josh continued to ask for my help in regards to filling out background information for the police job, and it never made sense to me how many things he asked me to do....but with no thanks!  He was so mean-spirited.  You would think he would try to be nice, since he was asking me to do so many things for him.  He only got worse. 

November 7, I could NOT sleep. I spent a lot of the night praying.  Mom overheard Josh blessing Abishai: "You are a man of God, always listen and obey God!"  Wow! God was not letting go of the parts of Josh that were still His.  Josh was horrible to me the day before, so I wonder if he was feeling guilty about it.  The meaner Josh got, the quieter I became.  God was working on me.  What did I contribute in the problems with this marriage?

Had I been too judgemental?
Did I overeat?
Did I have low self-worth?
Did I lack an intimate relationship with God?
Did I have a bad body image?
Did I have uncontrolled spending?