Friday, March 19, 2010

Story of Hope and Restoration--Part 51

Josh called; we talked for 40 minutes. He was coming home!!!!  It didn't feel right, but it was a step. I knew that my prayers were answered, but this was just the beginning.  I was going to have to get even more desperate.  The real fight was just beginning.  Satan wants my family, and I cannnot let him have it.

My trust in the Lord and Him helping me keep my lips zipped-my judgements-I can take these to God.  I needed to allow God to continue healing and leading me to where He wants.

Josh told the kids he was coming home; they could not have been happier.  I called my mom and Josh's parents.  It seemed to unreal; this was what we waited for. Our lives had been on hold, and this WAS it.  I told my mom that I believed he would come home, but that I only believed him because he had told the kids.  If it had just been me I knew he would have changed his mind. He had hurt me enough, but he told them.  He would be home.  BUT his heart was FAR from home. 

He requested some time to say good-bye to the other woman.  WHAT do I do, God?  How do I handle this? Can I trust you with how close I am to getting what I asked for?  Yes, I still had doubts!  I gave it to God. 

Josh came home in the flesh, but he was struggling with wanting his life in the world.  This was going to be one HUGE battle.  Jael spent most of the day crying; she is so wounded. 

This next week was what I would call, "Hell Week!"  I had been talking with my mom for HOURS upon HOURS every night, and no more!  How could I sit and cry for hours with my husband around again?  I had no one to talk to, and all of the emotion.  I also knew that if anyone knew what the week was going to hold......would they think I was crazy?