Monday, March 15, 2010

Story of Hope and Restoration--Part 46

Most evenings I spend with Josh's parents, and then I would drive home by myself.  I had no one to protect me but God. It was good and comforting, but it didn't change the fact that I longed for the arms that were around someone else.  It made me sad, angry, and sick.  AND even madder when I saw the hurting and suffering that my children felt. 

Josh had not spent any time with the kids the whole week; his schedule was just getting too busy.  So sad to watch.  He seemed to forget that he always said he wanted be at home; he didn't like to go out!  These friends that he went out with all of the time didn't realize he was living a lie. AND complaining about how horrible your life was, well, that was a lie, too! 

November 11, was the official day I resigned from the title of  "Lady Serena!"  I told the church that I needed to be available to Josh, not as a pastor's wife, but as his wife.  I wanted my standing for my miracle to match up my life and actions. I cryed....the whole church cryed.  

By this time, the other woman was spending weekends at Josh's place.  A few times I got the courage to text him, "Good morning!"  I knew she was there, but I wanted him to feel uncomfortable.