Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Story of Hope and Restoration--Part 47

I received a medal of honor; I cried!  What an honor!  A gentleman in our church received it while in the military for his courage and valor. He explained that you must be in combat for at least 90 days to even receive it.  I had not even thought about the fact that I had been battling for at least 90 days.  God used so many things to encourage me in my fight.  I didn't want to fight, but I had to.  I could not have done it without the support of others.  Someday, though, I would receive recognition and appreciation form my husband, too! I just knew it. 

I sang a song at church that Sunday. A song that Josh had written prior to leaving.  I sat a cried the day I found the words. I wrote music to it, and then sang it.  Josh found out, and he asked if I would sing it form him.  Why would he even want to hear it? Why did he pay more attention to me now, then he did before?  I sang it for him, praying that the words HE wrote would penetrate all of the dark places. 

Josh said he cared about the kids and what they thought. It was such a lie! Later that day the truth came out he e-mailed me with this: "I cared too much what other people thought and now I don't care at all!"  Now THIS was the truth. He might wish he cared, because he should. BUT he really didn't. 

Ultimately it's about caring what God thinks.  If you care about what God thinkg you would not look like anything less in other people's eyes, and if you do then it's their problem. 

May Josh receive a new heart a heart that is concerned only about what God thinks. May he realize the self-ceterdness will do him no good. May his heart be turned back to his children. Thank you, Lord, for removing the heart of stong and replacing it with a heart of flesh. May he realize the shame and guilt and lack of peace will never go away unless he ambraces You and starts caring about what You think.