Thursday, March 11, 2010

Story of Hope and Restoration--Part 42

Another Sunday! Lord, help!  I am hurting and I need You more today.  Be my husbad; my love; my protector; my friend. 

Josh decided to show up at church, and he was as acold as ever.  He was so shallow and unconfident.  His broad shoulders had sunk.  Dad took him in the office, as a pastor, and talked with him--he didn't respond to anything. 

Lunch at our favorite restaurant had turned extremely awkward. I could not, would not sit with him for lunch.  So, I got a separate table. I definitely wanted the kids to eat with him, so it was fine.  Mom and Dad ate with me, and I just wondered how he must feel?  He appeared embarrased to tell the waitress that we were separate; I wondered if she knew?  I needed to keep my distance from him; I was hurting too much.  He quickly finished lunch, as he was going to her house after. 

A good friend at church had taken an interest in me, and was getting to be a concern.  He was extra nice, and he felt sorry for me.  I enjoyed the compliments, especially the one about looking better after having kids then before.  I would have loved to hear Josh say that and believe he really meant it.  Josh always wanted me skinnier; he was never satified with me.  He wasn't always openly rude, but I could tell.  Once he left, he couldn't have been more hateful about my weight.  He said, "I would have passed you on the street and never given you a second look!"  Ouch!!  How mean!! Remember, though, in order to justify your behavior you HAVE to throw blame on someone else.  Josh grew more and more hateful in his comments. 

2 comments:

amy k* said...

Wow, that was HARSH! Especially when we KNOW that is NOT Josh's character....I'm so glad Josh is NOT like that!!!!

THANK YOU LORD FOR SHOWING YOURSELF STRONG AND TRUE!!!! THANK YOU FOR BRINGING BROTHER JOSH BACK TO YOU!!!!

Mrs. and Mama K said...

In regards to your value, he married you for SOME reason! You ARE gorgeous, ESP. your beautiful locks. If my hair looked as nice long I would've kept it!